Holding Harmony: How Music and Paradox Help Us Find Inner Balance
Music is a constant companion for me. If there isn’t a song playing in the background, there’s one playing in my head, almost like an internal soundtrack. When my mind is too busy to settle down at bedtime, I find myself silently singing “Unknown Legend” by Neil Young, letting its familiar rhythm guide me to rest. When I'm working, I lean towards jazz, building stations around legends like Chet Baker and Cannonball Adderley to keep me company. Jazz, with its spontaneity and depth, is a perfect partner for focus and creativity. This weekend, I revisited an old favorite, “Alone Together” by Ron Carter and Jim Hall, an album I hadn’t listened to in years. It struck a chord in my soul, resonating with that part of us that only music can touch. And then, as I sat with the music, I started reflecting on the album's title: "Alone Together."
The Beauty of Contradiction
Life is full of contradictions like Alone Together. We often hold two opposing feelings or thoughts at the same time. Maybe you’re happy about a friend’s success but a bit envious too. Or you’re excited about a new opportunity but also nervous. Learning to accept these contradictions—without forcing ourselves to pick a side—can be surprisingly freeing. It allows us to feel more at ease with ourselves and all the complicated feelings that come with being human.
In a world that often pushes us to choose between extremes, cultivating this “both-and” mindset can feel like a relief. It reduces inner turmoil by allowing us to accept complexity and ambiguity rather than forcing ourselves to live in “either-or” terms. Much like jazz, life is full of improvisation, surprises, and moments that don’t fit neatly into a single key or time signature. Learning to “play” with these contradictions—holding space for both joy and sorrow, connection and solitude, stability and change—can be incredibly healing.
Music as a Mirror for the Mind
Music, too, embodies these paradoxes. Jazz, for example, is both structured and free. Each musician improvises, yet they do so within a framework that harmonizes with the group. This balance of individual expression and collective cohesion mirrors what it means to be “alone together,” and it teaches us something about how we navigate our relationships with others. When we listen to or create music, we’re practicing this act of balancing, tuning into our inner world while also connecting with something beyond ourselves.
When I put on "Alone Together," it reminded me that we’re never truly alone in our experience. There’s a universality in the emotions music evokes, even though our individual interpretations may be unique. Similarly, we as people often discover that our struggles aren’t as isolating as they might seem. Just as jazz musicians riff off one another to create something cohesive, we too can learn to navigate our emotions by honoring both our individuality and our connections.
Finding Balance Through Acceptance
The next time your mind feels crowded with conflicting thoughts or emotions, consider turning to a favorite song or album. Music can create a space for us to settle, letting the various parts of ourselves coexist. Life is rarely about choosing one thing or another—it’s a blend of many things all at once. And sometimes, embracing that mix is what brings us the most peace.
So, whether you’re listening to jazz or just sitting quietly with your own thoughts, remember that it’s okay to feel a bit of everything. Life, like music, is complex. And in that complexity, we often find our own kind of harmony.
-K
